Murphy’s damn law.

The 3rd Installment

The Walking In a Line Group

Why does this happen!? Why do people walk in a line across the whole pavement? I know they see me but they still refuse to make a proper gap for me to squeeze through so I can be on my way. They just teasingly move a tiny bit and watch me dart around like a deranged person who likes walking really close to other people…no, I’m just trying to get past you, you selfish pavement hoggers!

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The Slow Walkers

Nothing gets me more irrationally angry than slow walkers. On a good day, I’ll just roll my eyes and await my opportunity to overtake them. But on a bad day…I have to bite my tongue and clench my fists to stop from screaming at them (I may potentially have an anger management problem…). Seriously though, I can walk slowly, but some people walk so painfully slow it kills me. Its like they aren’t even moving, they are just torturing me, WHY.

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The Tour group

This is the absolute worst. The tour group is a horrendous mixture of the people who walk slow AND in lines. They also look at you with disdain when you attempt to shove past them, like you are the one in the wrong. Oh, I’m sorry that I had to ruin your awesome tour but I actually have to go about my daily life! Your snail pace and your ability to block the whole pavement is infuriating, it honestly is making me want to murder you.

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The Acquaintance

Whenever I am in a hurry I always seem to run into a person that I know but don’t really know, you know? And there is no way to avoid them and they like to walk slow and like to ask inane questions about your life…It’s the worst.

People wanting to be my friend, ugh. People, ugh.

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The Charity Workers

“Hey, let me tell you my long and pointless spiel about this charity that I work for that you will forget the name of in 10 seconds and make your sign this document because you feel bad and hey, why don’t you volunteer, are you 21? No? Oh, then this whole conversation was pointless”. Um no, why couldn’t you ask me my age first!? I hate you.

 

This post makes me seem like a horrible and hateful person, but c’mon, you all agree with me! Right!? And I promise I am a bundle of fun in real life….

For real.

Thank you Olivia, these are all extremely valid (especially the slow walkers) but you left out one vital annoyance:

People Who Cannot Operate The Self Checkout aka The Worst People Ever

I just cannot with these people. How hard is it to find the broccoli button? Or the barcode on your loaf of bread? How hard is it to swipe your credit card and enter your pin? Or the cash in the slot?

Hella hard apparently.

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.Olivia Davison & Lucy Korn