The red carpet is being shampooed, the golden statues polished, Rachel Zoe is going “BANANAS” over a dress and the whole of Hollywood is on the last 48 hours of their juice cleanse (re starving).
It’s Oscar time.
Maybe it’s because I have actually seen the majority of the films nominated, or maybe it’s because Ellen is the host, but this year I feel invested in the Oscar race/ceremony like I never have before. So because its fun and because I have a lot of opinions, here is a list of things that should probably, definitely go down on Sunday night.
In no particular order:
Jennifer Lawrence should not wear Dior. Instead she should die her hair dark brown and wear this (Elie Saab):
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Lupita should win Best Supporting Actress and Jennifer should pull a really bad loser face. Because god knows the world needs more Jennifer Lawrence Gifs.
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Part of Ellen’s hosting gig should be randomly scaring guests in the audience like she does on her show. 
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When Guilianna asks people to do the Mani Cam on the red carpet everyone should just pull the finger into it like Elizabeth Moss did that time.
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Angelina Jolie, who is presenting should a) wear this to present the award:
and b) walk out on to the stage, try to stick her leg out and then be like, FUCK! When it doesn’t work.
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Everyone should just refuse to talk to Giulianna.
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12 Years A Slave should win everything it is nominated for.
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They should pair Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Lawrence up to present an award so the world can just witness that.
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They should also get Bradley Cooper, Chris Hemsworth, and Channing Tatum to present an award together so the world can witness THAT.
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Amy Adams should win Best Actress.
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At some point Tina and Amy should come out and just be like ‘we’ll take it from here.’
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The Oscars will air Sunday night in the US which is Monday here but I don’t know what time because I can’t be bothered working it out. Probably at a really inconvenient time when everyone is at work so we are forced to record the whole thing and avoid all contact with the radio, TV or internet until we get to watch it.
Although, the upside to recording it means you can fast forward through all the boring people on the red carpet and the too long acceptance speeches. Silver lining right there.
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Lucy Korn
