Revel in the madness

THOSE WHO SHOULD REALLY FIRE THEIR STYLISTS/HIRE ME

Cat Deeley

To be fair I can sort of see how this happened. Imagine how dramatic this would look on the rack? With all it’s sparkly edgy-ness it’s one of those dresses that promises the world. I can just tell she had this whole thing looking spectacular in her head.

Unfortunately the dress failed to deliver. That weird peplum thing around her waist, which would have looked ‘so couture’ on the rack just makes her look like she has weirdly wide (and pointy) hips and those cut-outs… DUDE.

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Lesley Mann

This just makes me angry. Seriously. WHY DID SHE NOT LINE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR. If you scroll up so that you can only see it from the hips up it looks way cool and interesting right? But then you scroll down and suddenly it’s this sad, unflattering disaster.

Note to anyone who is ever wondering about wearing black lace or black sheer anything that is not tight against the skin: It creates this weird illusion that makes whatever body part it’s covering look twice the size. Don’t do it ok?

Also, why does she always do that duck face smile?

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Amy Poehler

I wanted to love this because I love her but I just can’t.

You’re better than this Amy. You know you are, we know you are, Hell even the dress knows you are.

P.S Cap sleeves make your (universal your) arms look fat.

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Emilia Clarke

This dress honestly looks like it’s made from $2 shop tissue paper. I hate it and I think she does too. It doesn’t fit, it’s boring, it does nothing for her figure, the colour washes her out.. I could go on. I don’t even know what you could do to remedy the situation. Burn it perhaps?

At least she is fairly stunning (although I still think she should rock her Game of Thrones hair in real life).

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Julie Bowen

No. Put it down. Step away from the ruffles and go eat a pizza.

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Ariel Winter

Please return this to whichever middle-american high school cheerleader you stole it from.

Make up is good though, hair too.

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January Jones

First of all I can’t believe this is Givenchy. To me this is the most un-Givenchy looking dress I have ever seen. Secondly I can’t believe this was made for her. As in she wanted it to look this way.

Actually now that I have said it the latter probably cancels out the former. It’s so un-Givenchy because it’s a custom design. But still, just because January WANTED to look like her grandmother’s musty old curtains doesn’t mean they should have let her.

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Heidi Klume

Why the neck brace? WHY?! it makes her look like a lizard or a snake or something.

Cut. It. OFF.

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Michelle Dockery

Guys she got it wrong again. She looks as if she stole the curtains from Downton’s drawing room and wrapped them around her waist. It kills me because the top part is so lovely! Why not continue with that?

Also her clutch looks like it was made during arts and crafts time at play school.

Also, also cut that bit out about the top being lovely. I have just noticed what it is doing to her boobs and it’s concerning me.

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Zosia Mamet

I actually can’t even talk about this.

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Zooey Deschanel

This is kind of ok. I love the colour on her (matches her eyes), it’s fitted well and it is quite interesting. Maybe it should have been in the ‘Alright’ section of the previous post? Or maybe it really is horrible and I am blinded by my love for New Girl?

I think it’s just the hair that’s getting to me. I hate the hair.

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Sarah Hyland

Oh honey no.

Too much tan, too much lace, too much green, too much tack.

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Anna Faris

And we have arrived. Anna my friends was (in my opinion) the absolute worst of the worst dressed.

Yellow is a notoriously hard colour to wear. Highlighter yellow is impossible. It is a colour that should only be attempted if you know with absolute certainty that it will flatter your skin tone and suit your hair colour. Unfortunately for Anna it makes her skin look pallid and her hair look horrendous (she needs to be done with that fringe too).

Also no B celebrity should ever attempt to wear a dress that is even remotely similar to one that Angelina Jolie has worn:

Just saying.

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See THOSE WHO KILLED IT/ DID OK here

Lucy Korn