Otherwise known as the awards show that Ryan Seacrest doesn’t care about.

Kerry: This is mental. It is also custom Prada, a fact that only increases it’s mental-ness because it means she actually meant to look like this. It makes me sad because she is all pregnant and glowy (why is it only celebrities who look glowy when pregnant) and there are approximately 1 billion dresses that she could have worn that would have been beautiful and, dare I say it, more comfortable.

Cate: I feel like if this was midnight blue or a deep green or anyother colour that does not resemble anything fleshy then I would have liked it. There is just something about this that reminds me of – I am really sorry but I have to say this – a saggy vagina.

Julia: Now, I am all for jumpsuits but I really don’t see the point of wearing a jumpsuit that doesn’t look like one. Why not just wear a dress? It can’t be any more comfortable can it?Whatever floats your boat I guess. (She’ll always have great hair though).

Jennifer: “Holy shit she looks amazing! Semi boring but amazing!” were the words that came out of my mouth when I first saw this.

Kaley: I don’t understand why this girl finds it so hard to dress herself. She has a great figure a great face and great hair, yet she always looks kind of wrong. Right?

Gullianna: I just don’t know anymore. I want to make a body comment but calling Gullianna out for being teeny tiny would be just as bad as calling Melissa McCarthey out for being large so I ain’t gonna. Instead I am going to call her out for thinking this dress is “radiant orchid” (she said it several times) because, NO.

Julia: Do you watch VEEP? I recommend that everyone watch it because it is great. Really great. This dress though, not so great. It might just be the angle of this photo but the line where the blue turns to black is making her seem pregnant. It is, unfortunately, terrifically unflattering.

Emilia: This is average, kind of bland – if sparkle can be bland – and I HATE the cap-sleeve. When are people gooing to learn that cap-sleeves do just as much for your shoulders as capri pants do for your calves? I like her face styling though.

Jennifer: I am so happy about this. SO HAPPY. This is the best thing Dior has given her in a lonnnnggggg time, maybe an entire year. She looks rediculously great, despite that (non existent “armpit fat.”

Sofia: Curves, curves, curves, lose the necklace, curves, curves, curves.

Meryl: Classy.

Helen: FABULOUS.

Emma: Legend.

Mindy: If this were an episode of the Mindy Project it would be the episode where all of Mindy’s ex boyfriends realize their mistakes and try and win her fabulous self back. Mindy would bask in their attention until she realized that they just want her for her bod at which point she would go home, get into her onsie, pour a large glass of red wine and lament until, surprise! Danny turns up outside her window with a boombox playing 80s music…

Amy: The colour is beautiful on her, it fits her P-E-R-F-E-C-T-L-Y and it’s interesting. The only thing I have questions about is her head. I’m not into that hair.. Or lipstick.

Sandra: I am in love with the silhouette of this Lanvin dress. It is perfect, on her and in general. Actually I am going to go ahead and say Sandra was the best dressed of the night (which is really quite an achievement because: Jennifer Lawrence).

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD I JUST LOOKED UP HER AGE – so I could make some quip about how I hope I look like her when I am _ – AND SHE’S 49! FORTY FUCKING NINE! Insanity.

Lupita:  On anyone else this dress would look kinda like she got stuck head and shoulders in a bush on the way there but Lupita just makes it look beautiful and elegant. I really can’t get over how stunning she is.

.

Lucy Korn