Otherwise known as ‘Sass-athon’

I now, and we have Jennifer Lawrence to thank for this, feel a bit guilty when I write these things. Being at these awards shows must feel like being in a really glamorous zoo; it must be (and is) so tiresome for actors to always be on show, judged, poked and prodded at. Because of this I feel a bit bad for saying things like “she looks like a huge grey shower sponge” because, well, they probably liked that huge grey shower sponge.

But then again, all this stuff, the dresses, the shoes, the hair, none of it’s real. I can’t be made to feel bad about judging something that is not real can I?

Amy: Stella McCartney isn’t always the best choice for the red carpet (doesn’t translate well) but this, THIS is perfection. Suits her, fits her, loves her. Nicely done Poheler.

Zoe: I might be the only one who didn’t hate this. It’s hella crazy but, you know, I like crazy. Also the shoes are great (as is Zoe).

Julia: She has totally worn this before right? It was bad then too right?

Alison – I don’t watch girls so I always have to google her name – Williams: I feel as if this would be totally annoying to wear. What happens when you move your arms? It’s all a bit constricting. Also the top half looks like TV static.

Cate: Reminiscent of creeping algae but we’ll let that slide because she’s Cate Blanchett.

 

Lesley: She looks quite sassy in this picture but not sassy enough to distract from that fucking peplum. CAN WE JUST BE DONE WITH PEPLUMS NOW?

Lizzy – Janis Ian – Caplan: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness?

Jessica: I didn’t see this on the telecast but I’m pretty sure it’s rather beautiful. With a face and hair like that though how could it not be?

Julianna: Not a huge fan of the golden coral motif.. Kind of makes her look like the undersea version of the wicked witch. She gives good face though.

Michelle: I LOOOOOVE THIS. LOOOOOOOOOVE it. Well played Lady Mary, well played.

Naomi: This looks like liquid gold! Perfection. Totally makes up for that terrible Diana biopic.

Radisha: What the fug man. Palm trees? I can’t even deal.

Zooey: This is a terrible photo of her but it actually looked really cute on the telecast. All sparkley and sweet and fairylike. I especially appreciated her spiked Louboutins.

Paula: It’s times like these that I really wonder, WHY? HOW? How could anybody possibly think this is a good idea?!

Emelia: You slayed it Dragon Queen.

Jennifer: Get off the Dior ship Jennifer! As soon as you can! P.S I don’t actually give a shit what you wear, just please continue to be the best person ever.

Kerry: Is stunning, and pregnant! Hurrah! However I cannot condone that weird vest/flap thing (don’t hate me).

Mila: WHERE IS ASHTON?

Drew: Is also pregnant! Hurrah! Someone – I think it was the Fug Girls – made the comment that this dress is exactly what they imagine Drew’s aura looks like. I completely agree.

Sandra: I hate this dress in theory, I would NEVER go near the thing on the shop floor. But somehow Sandra makes it sort of work? Or am I just going mad. Help me.

Julie: I think I hate this. I hate the sash thing and I detest those horrid puffy sleeves. Remove those two elements, add an emerald green necklace and you’ve got yourself a winner Julie.

Aubrey: It’s like she said to herself, “You know what would be funny Aubrey? If you went to the Globes dressed exactly as you were at your high school prom – dress, bag, hair, necklace, the whole shabang.”

Actually, that’s probably exactly what she said.

Amy: American Hustle has really done wonders for Amy. She seems so much more fun now! This dress is wondrous, the styling is spot on, her make up is perfection.. Long live American Hustle Amy!

Lupita: Way back in September I did a piece on ‘gowns we want to see this awards season.’ This very dress was in that post. Not for Lupita though, for Angelina Jolie which at the time, I thought would be a perfect fit. But I was wrong. Lupita wore this dress like no one could wear it, even Queen Angelina. Did you see her on the telecast? She is so beautiful it’s insane!

Emma: One commenter posted during the Fug Girls live blog that their 8 year old had just sighed and said “You let me down Hermione.”

You said it sister.

Helen Mirren: Is fucking amazing.

Reese: This colour looks awesomely awesome on her and I am loving the slick hair cut. Also, how old is she because she still looks 25.

Lena: Someone said to me today, and I agree, that people hate on the things that Lena wears because she is not a size nothing. But it also could be because she always manages to look like a naughty child in her moms dress.

Taylor: I am really into this dress but a couple of things are ruining it. 1. Is her hair, this dress is begging for a ‘loosely tousled’ low bun. 2. Is that a white pointed stiletto poking out at the bottom? Oh honey no.

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Lucy Korn